Bang! Bang! BANG! She woke with a start. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She couldn’t make out if it were out of fear, jolting out of sleep, or just another bout of anxiety. She sat in her bed and looked around. It was pitch dark outside and raining heavily. The branch of the tree in front of her window was knocking against her window. She stayed still for a few moments trying to gather her thoughts. There was nothing she was thinking except concentrating on her pounding heart. Every night she skips taking her medicine, thinking she will be able to emerge triumphant against her anxiety today, but alas! This has been happening since her last visit to the doctor two weeks ago. The doctor said she needed to cut down her medicine dosage gradually. She cannot depend on them to lead an everyday life without bouts of anxiety. She was in a better place since she had started seeing her therapist. She was learning to work on herself by identifying and working on her triggers. She has avoided taking medicine since that night but wakes up with bouts of anxiety and sweaty underarms every night. Her thoughts wandered to the nights she used to wake up next to him. She would simply turn around and put an arm and leg over him. That was always enough for him to know she had woken up because of her anxiety. He would turn around and hold her in his arms till she drifted to sleep peacefully in his arms. On the worst nights, he would start distracting her by tracing her sweaty neck with his fingers and resting his other hand on her ass, pulling her close into him. She would giggle innocently, and he would rest his lips against her. The worst nights would turn into a passionate lovemaking session between them. He would exhaust her with earth-shattering orgasms, after which she would sleep peacefully in his arms, resting her head on his chest. A tear trickles down her eye as she rests her hand on the empty side of the bed where he used to sleep. She starts concentrating on her breathing. Taking deep breaths to calm herself while reminiscing about the nights when it used to be his breath between her legs calming her down instead. Her bosom heaves as she remembers his tongue moving slowly around her labia, tracing every centimetre of her skin and exhaling heavily over her clitoris, making her impatient and wanton.
The storm outside calmed down, but her anxiety didn’t subside. A storm was brewing inside her – a storm of lust and love. She was aching for his touch. She wanted to feel him under her skin. She wanted his head between her legs. She wanted to crush his head hard between her thighs. She takes a deep breath, rests her hand on her bosom, and cups her left breast from over her tee. She picks up her phone and starts scrolling through their intimate pictures while fondling her breast. She stops and stares at her favourite picture – a full mirror image of the two of them. He was standing behind her, cupping her breasts, and she was smiling coyly with the phone in her hand and ready to click. She smiled, looking at that picture as tears rolled down her cheeks. She moved her thumb over their faces and adored him for a long time. She was brought back to reality by her pounding heart and sweaty underarms.
She turned on the air conditioning and took out her vibrator from the bedside table. She opened a video on her phone. She was blindfolded, hands tied, and legs wide apart, with him sitting between them. He gently caressed her inner thighs and moved cold fingers from her knee to her genitals on both sides. She was quivering and pleading to untie her hands and open her eyes, and him telling her that that wasn’t happening. She opened the bottle of lube and spread some over her clitoris. She turned on the vibrator on the first speed and spread the lube all over her clitoris. He bent down over her belly button while tracing her inner thighs. He let out his tongue and started making circles around her belly button. She started moving her finger in circles around her belly button. He stuck out his tongue and started sucking her belly button while moving his finger over her labia. She started digging her belly button with her finger and moving the vibrator over the length of her labia, teasing herself by staying a tad second longer on her most erogenous point on the right of her clitoris. He moved upwards, licking the area from her belly button to the neck and then started sucking her neck. She moved her hand from the belly button to the neck, caressing herself, feeling his warm breath on her neck. His hand rests on her left breast. She cups her left breast. He gently squeezes it. She gently squeezes herself. His finger wanders painstakingly slowly over the length of her clitoris, stopping at her most erogenous point. He knew every inch of her body. She let out a soft moan as he did that and moved the vibrator to the same spot where he was moving his finger and quivered gently.
He raised his face and looked at her blindfolded face with such adoration that it melted her heart while watching the video every time. He kissed her deep for a few seconds and moved down between her legs. His warm breath over her clitoris made her quiver and close her legs instinctively, only to find him restraining her from doing that. “Oh, please!” she pleads. He grins and bends over to breathe out again. She quivers and calls out his name. She does the same while the vibrator moves over her clitoris on second speed now. He laughs. She giggles. He brings out his tongue and starts licking the length of her from the tip to her vagina. She gasps and pleads to untie her hands. She is itching to hold him by his hair, but he doesn’t listen. She cups her left breast tightly as her legs begin to quiver. His tongue moves in slow circles around her clitoris, hovering a little longer on her spot on the right. She starts doing the same with the vibrator on top speed now. She quivers and moans his name. She quivers and moans his name. He increases the speed and starts moving his tongue faster around her clitoris. She imitates it with her vibrator. Her legs were shaking. She was pleading with him to bring her to a climax. She is pleading with him to get her to a climax. Her legs trembled as she climaxed with a deafening moan calling his name. Her legs are trembling as she climaxes with a deafening moan calling his name. He lies on top of her holding her as she orgasms in waves. She pulls over a pillow and holds it tight as she orgasms in waves.
She turns to the empty side of the bed, looking at their last picture taken in the hospital a day before he breathed his last, holding her hands, looking into her eyes. She kisses her mobile screen and sobs herself to sleep.